A
circle of buzzards flew around the head of a woman invested deep in
tomes stacked on her desk and around the corners of the room. She
kept the lamp on but the electric radiance left the far walls
darkened. Bars of street light from the blinds stamped pale patterns
on the broen leak stains mapped across the ceiling. Her somach ached,
and the walls around her drifted backwards, then came blasting
forward back to where they started as she shook herself awake. She
smoothed her remaining eyebrow fuzz, and took a pen from the jackdaw
nest on far edge.
Summers
slipped whiskey in her coffee. She finished reading the essay, then
poured more whiskey into the steaming mug. Maxim Lordstone wrote his
name right, the rest looked to her like someone else's work glued
together. Whoever caused the infringement even changed fonts,
misspelled words new ways- It started reading about Napoleon looking
for Egyption hieroglyphs and concluded that Ned Ludd started the
Industrial Revolution. Her class was about Birds in Literature. It
went on for fifty pages. She sipped her coffee. Her clock struck 7pm.
The sun set without her.
She
flipped through the stack of essays and paused when she unburied her
manuscript. Summers drank Irish Coffee until the sad feelings
metamorphosed into good feelings. The aches on her hips from sitting
too long faded and the hunched notches of her spine numbed, but her
stomach twisted. She drank more, covered her mouth as gases escaped,
then her guts warmed and calmed. She looked at her watched, and gave
herself fifteen minutes before the aches re occured. She reached for
her manuscript-
The
door jostled. She pulled herself together. A cave deep voice
murmured, “Where am I?” before the door jostled again. “Never
thought I’d have to do this again,” an older voice uttered. She
recognized the voices from the radio. The hinges chimed, the doorstop
snapped in half. There stood two mortal shadows. Lordstone
dazed beyond the corners of the room with one eye. His coach
lingered into the room from behind him. The coach’s face burned
like rouge. He crossed into the lamp light but took a breath, brushed
his thighs and folded his hands.
“You’ve
got to be kidding me.”
“Shouldn’t
you be warding further head trauma?"
“Will you be at new stadium next November? Not even the plumbing in this hovel is up to code. Change his status.”
“Will you be at new stadium next November? Not even the plumbing in this hovel is up to code. Change his status.”
Lordstone
rubbed his hands together like a child lost at the mall. His other
eye floated like a dead fish.
“If
anything happens to him, you will get fired too. Then what?”
“He’ll
graduate once we win. Don’t make everyone go down because this guy
fails, professor. We both knew this was it way it would go.”
Summers
started taking her things and putting them in a case, and smashed the
lamp with her elbow. The lamp flashed both of them. Lordstone’s
looked into it like an eclipse, both eyes focused on the lamp flash.
Summers swept the light back to the desk and the bird feathers
displayed on the wall.
“Cool
birds,” Lordstone said. Summers saw a fresh bandage around his red,
and raw apple throbbing from beneath.
She
took her valuables, and when she reached for her manuscript the coach
held it into the light. He turned the pages, skimmed the middle,
skipped to the end and broke in laughter. “These sources are from before the Migratory
Bird Treaty Act- there’s no way it’s going anywhere.”
She
groaned set her case down, and changed the grade.
“Let
me make sure.”
Summers
spun showed him a screen displaying the status.
“Where
am I?” Lordstone asked again.
“Let’s
get to the field. We have the championship to prepare for.”
“T-The
championship? I’m going to be in the championship? It can’t
be...”
Their
elation bounced down hallway. Summer vomited her coffee back up over
her manuscript. “North American Corvidae in Postmodern readings of
late 20th
century
Romance.” She drew a jackdaw on the title page, sparing no ink,
gutting the pages beneath. Ink seeped from the crevices if her fist.
The drips of paper ran down the cover, bled through the paper and
filled in the splintered surface of her desk. She hated birds. She
decapitated the fowl she sketchec until the paper came in half.
The
first thing she saw when she woke up was the pet cemetary out the
window. She recalled waking up at 5am every morning as a child to
study, walking to school in the rain, turning in everything early no
matter how much sleep she lost. Passing every test, perfecting every
essay, earning every scholarship. Her feet still wore calluses from
the crumbling shoes. Her body still rose at 5am, no matter when she
fell asleep or intended to wake up. Summer Rubbed her forehead until
memories emerged of coming home after school to see her mother on the
floor lapping spilled wine until she passed out on the floor. Those
days she liked the most- no fighting, no screaming, so she relaxed in
her sanctuary, stuffed her head full of texts from the library, and
watched her window for the black bird. It visited on every good day.
When
she went to school boys and girls bullied her for the habits she
practiced, she lost hair, lost weight that never reaccumulated, and
as years grew by she spent her vitality on the institution until one
day she she noticed the color draining from her hair and the wild,
sweet, magical, loving emotions that once touched her so vividly
became mere mythos of human experience. Not even the old music she
once loved inspired her blood to work as she once did. The corvidae
that she watched from her bedroom window pecking at the pet graveyard
in the back lawn. No matter what memories dissolved in the swamps of
lost recollection- every morning the raven pecking at the dirt of her
dead pets awoke with her.
Summers
drank more whiskey until the bottle crashed on the floor. The jackdaw
on the page stretched its wings before her eyes and ripped free from
the page. With its wings dripping ink it peel its head from the page
and belted it back on with more ink. Summers collapsed back on her
seat, headlights along the walls, drew circles with the
spinning shadow of dark birds around her desk. She heard the flocking
of wings as the lights eclipsed. Around the shadows in the room
appeared hundreds of beady eyes that started out black but glowed red
like hot nail heads. In her light she saw each bird suffered from
broken beaks, some with broken talons, even broken necks.
The
jackdaw swelled past the page, shoving notebooks and codex’s to the
floor with its wings, talons bolted to the edge. Its wiped milky
fluid deluging from its eyes with the twitch of its nape. “Grawk…
grawk...” it growled with each breath.
Summers
kicked her seat back, and hit the cold glass. The blinds snapped from
the ceiling and tangled onto her. Someone bricked off the window.
Her
eyes dilated as the room darkened around her. The hush of falling
snow and burning consumed the depths of the room. The digital
appliances sparked and projectiled chips and wires to the stacks of
unread books that ignited like oil soaked rags. Flames climbed the
material. The bird remained perched as the odor of burning meat
flooded the space. The reeking smoke thickened until Summers saw only
saw the Jackdaw’s heaving outline/ They chirped with malnourished
craving as the flames reached under her desk. The melting rubber on
the soles burned away the calluses. The manuscript lit up like dry
grass.
The
jackdaw plucked a feather from its wing and stuck it in her curls.
Some cold ink ran down her face, and down her neck. She felt no pain,
nor cold- nothing at all. Her fingers felt around her head,
tracing roots sprouting across her scalp into her eye sockets. When
she reached to pluck the intrusion, her hands and arms chilled, her
shoulders relaxed. She twisted around looking for her her arms. When
she looked down she saw them smoking on the floor. Instead she rose
long vectors with comb thin bones hanging down connected by a layer
of cartilage riveted lifted from her shoulders. Her jaw and nose grew
cold next ,then a beak the size of a pickaxe head protruded at the
bottom of her vision.
The
jacksaw rubbed the liquid from its eyes. Smoke filled the room, and
the by the time the fires died the next morning all emergency
services found uncovered was a smoldering heap.
The
night before the championship Lordstone didn’t sleep. Not only
because the prostitutes sent to him in a brand new car kept him awake
with cocaine and sexual advances, nor the ringing that drove spikes
into his brain under every bright light, but because his dreams came
close to being fulfilled. He fantasized about this day since boyhood
crushing skulls in the playground much to his parents adornment.
The
bus ride to Orlando came like a dream. He sealed in all his
excitement and hid behind oversized headphones and listened. But he
played no music. No one bothered him or disturbed the rhythm of birds
chanting to him over rainfall. The way he liked it.
They
crossed the Missouri river and went through the hills of Arkansas
then across the swamps of Louisiana to the marshes of the deep south,
then at last they crossed into the jungle of Florida. A road block
took them across a bridge. The bird calls grinded with the sand like
scratches. He removed the gear from his head, but he still heard the
scratching, and pecking. Strobes of paine shot down his ears to the
back of his head wings battered, and beat. He rapsed his ears until
his ear drums went numb- but the stinging didn’t migrate, nor did
the rustling splatter of untame fowl sirening within his skull.
Stinging escalated to aches. He grinded his teeth. One front tooth
chipped. Drool dripped down his lips. He held his ears certain he’d
see blood and pus ran between his fingers if he took his hands away.
Stonelord called for the trainer. Heads turned around. The trainer stood up and
took the isle. He checked shined a light down his ears and nose and
grew pale at what he saw- but under the coach’s supervision, he
deemed Stonelord healthy. despite the cries to stop the bus.
Agony pressed against both his temples and the back of his eyes. The
coach asked for someone to administer a shot. The staff looked
through a case of syringes and vials. Stonelord ran his head against
the window until hands took hold of him and for a moment he calmed
until a brush of wet feather ejected from his nostrils. His
companions drew their hands away, their eyes isolated on the
convulsing stock, his arms trembling like the tendons being peeled
from his forearms. A bloodless crevice pulled apart his flesh and
spread from each ear over his scalp, like an opening eye.
Stonelord
kept screaming until talon nails pierced his throat and dug towards
the terrified passengers. A beak shaped like a fountain pen popped
out from behind his eye. Wings rose from the splitting halves and
showered the window fog with steaming carnage. It took flight
across the bus, slammed into the windshield and kicked away into the
driver's lap, flapping and squawking as the hornet beak struck his
hand between two fingers.
The
bus crossed onto a narrow bridge, and swerved through the barrier. It
spun twice before landing upside down into the river filled with
dumped sewage. The bus bobbed up and down before filling with
stinking dark water and plummeting to the river floor. Bubbles
followed the sinking machine and burst at the surface.
The
ripples shockwaved to the shore, strobing slower and slower, until
peace fell across the current. Then up the surface broke again as the
coach reached out with lost luggage, and paddled to the rocky shore
where he gasped for breath like he hadn’t breathed in forty years.
He groaned and wept as he saw floating jerseys dance in the water.
Then he heard something that made his blood vessels curl. “Grawk…
grawk….” he turned around to see a large bird perched on bending
branch. It fluttered its wings and landed before him. It reeked like
skunk and milk. It wiped liquid from its bead smooth eyes, growling
with each approaching step of its killer talons, drinking the
drenched expression of absent penance like summer wine. He tried to
back away but the rocks compressed around his rings of fat. The bird
dove its beak into his face and tore out both eyes. The coach
screamed and bled on the rocks as he listened to its juicy gnashing.
The shore of putrid water rose around him. He felt sharp hooks take
his shoulders, and the weight of his body lift from the wet rocks.
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