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Spy Horror: The Betrayal Narrative

The Betrayal Narrative Graham Swanson to B. I – Storm Wayward Storm grunted under dim fluorescent lights. Blue glow from three monitors turn...

Monday, June 17, 2024

THE MAN WHO ATE HIMSELF

 The Man Who Ate Himself

By Graham Swanson


To S











Hector Larenzo Ubul used to be a doctor. That’s what he told people. He wore gold necklaces that cascaded down his chest and big rings. A Pediatrician specializing in traumatic surgery. He still kept his Oxford degrees even if he had been exiled and banned from practice from several countries. The only ones left he could practice in was North Korea and Eritrea. The rest got wind of his experiments and practices and blacklisted him from any clinic above ground. 

Hector kept this secret from his wife Casimir. They lived on an island off the coast of Nicaragua in a big elegant mansion. Long ago his ancestors landed on the island, claimed it, then traded the natives rum for the constriction of the estate and many remained working under the family as they cleared forest for sugar cane and lime orchards. 

The lime orchards failed and the sugar never came. One by one the natives of the island disappeared. Probably sailed back to the mainland and never told anyone. The mansion remained however beautiful, kept up, and it featured things like their own air strip, their own harbor, their own fuel line, and their own power generators. 

Speleologists told them that the island would sink into the sea someday. The caves underground already filled with ocean water. Slowly the ground eroded, and the once fruitful forest land became swamp infested by giant man eating mosquitos. Hector didn’t want to hear it, but all the landscaping done by their forefathers caused the island to fail. Hector refused to leave.

    “When we first came here, there was nothing but snakes and huts. No air conditioning, no bathrooms, no clean running water. My family built it all here, then the protestors came, then they threw employment disputes at us, next thing you know my mother was a hostage, and we had to pay EVERYTHING we had left to spare her life from rebels from the mainland. Then began the long arduous process of identifying and destroying those involved. There’s no leaving for us.” 

Hector had many children. The first two of Casimir's he ran his experiments on, and they lived in the basement. The third one he decided not to treat. Not because of a sudden change of heart, or a wave of kindness bleeding over the earth, but because the little girl had a birth defect. He knew it as soon as he saw it. Harlequin Ichthyosis. 

Number Three's skin was like solid diamond scales. Her eyes were red. She could not be used. He needed purebred, healthy children. He didn’t expect her to live past one week. Considering the effort he would need to put forth to keep the child alive, he opted for euthanasia, but he knew the day would come when he needed a close servant. The condition was genetic, and he feared his friends might discover her. He paid for all the medicine she’d need and assigned a servant from the lab to take care of her needs. Despite the cruelty he showed everyone else, he offered Number Three the closest thing he knew to love.

Casimir was assigned to marry Hector after he performed surgery on the son of a Mafia lord. She was flown to the island and married in the cargo bay. She’d been on the island ever since. At first she cooked and cleaned, beat the rugs, and brought coffee for her husband. She never knew about his career, or the nature of his work. He never told her, and threatened to feed her to Bullet Ants if she ever asked about it. 

One day he came home, covered in blood, exhausted, broken chains around his wrists. When she begged him to tell her how it happened he hit her so hard she flew across the room and crashed into a case of dishes. So she never asked again, and started dreaming of escape. Except that she didn’t know where she was, and she didn’t know where he kept the rest of her kids. 

After Number Three was born, Hector expected different services from his wife. Now no longer would she be the mother and housekeeper. Soon they’d have a replacement for that. No, she’d be responsible for procuring more children for the island. He gave her a special computer with internet access only to a few social media websites. 

“Tell them it’s a special job. Lots of money. Easy money. We’ll fly them here. A private tutor for our beautiful children.” 

Hector looked at himself in the mirror. His elbow tendons, his nose cartilages, his pockets of meat and rings of fat. He placed a gun to his head, then loaded a bullet into it, set it down. He had a case of drugs. Stimulants. 

Hector wandered down the basement corridor and examined his failed experiments. One by one he shot them. They protested and wailed for him to stop. He shot eight, reloaded, then shot three more. He looked at the portrait of his late late late grandfather. Tall, black clothes, the flag of his brotherhood behind him, a knife on his belt, heavy black cape over his shoulder. The man sneered at his descendent in front the frame. 

“I promise you, the flame will burn on.”  

Meanwhile the island shook. Dust and bits of debris rattled from the ceiling. There wouldn’t be much time. He hurried into the operation room and locked the door behind him. He injected himself in the neck with a numbing agent, stripped naked then laid down on the table. On one side his boots and instruments. He checked the marking on his body, the circles over his vital organs, and the dotted lines over his muscles.

Casimir heard screams echo from the basement. It happened so much that she barely thought about it anymore, but the voice sounded like her husband. He forbade her from entering and kept the keys with him. He didn’t think enough about it, but she stayed in that house more often than him, and suspected that she knew about his hiding places. 

Casimir wished for death. On most days of her life. The things that once brought her happiness, the beach, the animals, food, no longer did. Even the love she had for her children stopped producing the magic chemicals that inspired joy. She laid in bed, hoped for death, barely slept, got up, started her “job” then went back to bed around midnight after drinking an entire bottle of Polish Vodka. 

Casimir almost fell asleep when she heard the door open. First she reached for a pistol under the bed as the shadow entered the room. She knew it wasn’t her husband’s shadow so she raised the gun. 

“Don't shoot me mommy.” 

Casimir got a better look through the haze. She wiped her blonde hair away from her eyes and looked into the window light. Her daughter, Number Three, stood there in a nightgown. Her thin wires of hair ran out from the side of her hat and down one side of her head. She stuck one thick black fingernail in her mouth. As her shadow shifted, her joints remained locked because it hurt her to bend them. Her eyes like dark holes  glittered in the moonlight, framed under smooth eyelids, no eyebrows. 

“What're you doing here?” Casimir lowered her gun. She never saw her but she heard the sounds in the nursery. “Did they put on your moisturizer and disinfectant?”

“No mommy she didn’t come up for days so I did it myself.” She wore layers of sterile gauze wrapping under her gown. “But I'm scared of the earthquake.” 

“Oh, Number Three, it's just the island collapsing. Soon it will be our grave and we won’t have to worry about trouble like that anymore.”

“Where is daddy? He must be in the lab.”

“You know he doesn’t like being bothered when he’s in there.” 

“What’s he doing?” 

“We don’t ask. Stop bothering me, and find something to clean. Its your fault I’m sick. Now get out and put yourself to bed.” 

Casimir started to cry and sweat. Even when she did sleep she awoke from horrid nightmares of being buried or burned alive. She awoke from thunder and nightmare with her daughter laying in her husband's spot. He still hadn’t come up. Drunk with vodka, and with a deathwish, the woman got out of bed. She tried many doors, as usual, they were locked. 

More and more of her husband’s screams echoed through the house from the basement. Deep down, everything in the cages had been shot. Bloody clothes lay in a pile. Hector lay naked, with one foot already dangling from the ankle like a ribbon. He ripped the last muscle off with his teeth, then got started on the next foot. 

As he chewed he re-examined the anatomy chart. The meat between the toes tasted the best. It was chewy and once he got his teeth in there he could rip out a large chunk of tissue. A little more blood trickled out of his mouth than he preferred so he tightened the belts around his ankles. His toes were already blue. 

The ankle bone hurt his teeth but underneath he found a capsule of tender, spongy sinews. He stuck his tongue in and licked until the marrow fell out of the bone. The veins and skin remained and he slowly tore it away bit by bit. It didn't lift off in a solid piece, but in strips like paper glued to a desk. He mostly wanted to taste the cartilage of his toe knuckles. He liked the way it crunched in his mouth. 

Once finished with his feet, he tightened the third and fourth belts. His hamstrings had gotten so fat since his work kept him from hiking much. He injected himself with more numbing agent, and brought his leg up to his mouth and sunk his teeth in. Blood dribbled down his chin and chest. 

The Doctor’s appetite only became more ferocious. He tightened belts around his quadriceps until his flesh turned purple. He checked his own notes and diagrams, and reached for a meat carving knife. The fat and flesh peeled from the meat. Despite the drugs he felt tingles of pain shoot up his spine. He dug the knife into his tendons again and sliced the muscle off his leg. Now only a bone lay wrapped in a skin stuck out as he swallowed the blood from his fat pockets.

Rats began lining up against the darkness of the walls. Their eyes bounced as they dared eachother to dart over and grab a loose cut of meat. Yet they remained in the protection of the rafters and pipes. The doctors started to scream again until he stabbed himself once more with a needle. 

Hector laid there, exhausted, rolling his head back and forth and whimpering until he noticed the row of rats. A mask of carnage drizzled off his face. His arms and hands slippery and wet. A silent laugh lit up his face. “Looks like I beat you to it for once.”

Hector tied a tether around his other leg, and tightened clamps around his stomach. After throwing a few pieces of his quad meat to the rats, he devoured its raw, chewy texture. The meat reminded him of the lizards he’d catch in the jungle. The coppery bite, the greasy splinters of bone, the bits of skin getting stuck between his teeth, and the way it made his stomach hurt. 

“Of course, the stomach.” He tightened the clamps, and drew a scalpel but he realized how slow he moved. He turned on the IV drip, red fluid filled the hose. Cold bubbles entered his arm. It hurt at first, it always does, but he felt himself come back to life. He finished eating his leg, then located the stomach and cut around the circle until a nice little hole opened up. 

The stomach bulged from its cupboard in his gut. He moved aside the shelfs of muscle to touch his stomach. Immediately blood and bile gushed from his mouth. He tried to sit up but the force of vomit reached him first. He lay there swallowing everything his body rejected and held the hole in his stomach as the cold air made the cut on his body burn. 

Once empty, Hector rested his head and felt his heavy eyelids drop. He prepared for this, and took a syringe full of stimulants and injected it right into his heart. He shot up for the table, unblinking, his heart beating through his chest, his stomach expanded out from the hole he cut. He wiped blood from his gut, and started digging into the meat of his abdomen, his thighs, and ass. 

Huge deposits of meat entered his body, but his stomach kept horking it back up. He switched to a new IV bag, and opened the hole around his stomach even wider to reach the meat under his ribs. He pressed his organs down to reach it, and CRACK- one of his ribs popped. If not for the ocean of drugs pounding through his system, the pain would’ve caused him to pass out. He reached further in to see what had broken, and to his amusement, he pulled out an entire rib covered in a soft, hair-like meat. He stuck the rib in his mouth and sucked the meat off. He opened his abdomen even more until he needed to insert splints to keep his lower intestine from rolling out of his body. 

The lights flicked as the ground and ceiling shook. Water splashed when heavy debris fell from above. He looked down and noticed the dark water ripple on the linoleum tile. He looked around for a leak, listened for rain, as slime and water ran down the walls, drenched the portrait of his judging ancestor and knocked it to the floor. 

Casimir watched the rain flood the caves and depression over the island. Her heart dropped. That’s where she kept and bedded her “recruits”. Without them to serve Hector, he would surely kill her. She tried first to contact anyone down in the caves. She dialed emergency phones she gave the guards, and all he heard when they picked up was the roar of water blasting down a pipe. 

Number Three slept so soundly in the storm. Casimir shook her until she woke up. The girl stirred with bad dreams, murmuring about mirrors, until Casimir shushed and held her close by. 

“Do you know where daddy keeps his lab keys?”

“He told me never to go into the lab.”

“They keys, sweety.” 

“The girl reached into her shirt and pulled out a necklace with the key attached, the slight smile developed as her cheeks cracked. “Daddy says that when I’m old enough, he’ll teach me to be a scientist, like him.” 

“Give it to mommy.” 

Number Three’s smile turned around and her brow crinkled over her eye holes.

Casimir grabbed a pillow and shoved it down onto her daughter’s face. The little girl kicked and punched. The pillow case became wet with her slobber so Casimir shoved it down her throat. Her murmurs became gurgles, precious gurgles. The girl found a pen by the bedside, and hurled it forward. The tip landed right in her mom’s chest. 

They struggled and fought in the bed, covering its ivory white fabrics in squirts of blood. The girl on the other side of the pillow felt weaker, but her hold onto the pen only got stronger. She twisted it and dug it deeper into her mom. She felt it break through layers of tissue until the oxy levels finally dropped and her brain stopped. 

Casimir removed the pillow. Her husband’s abomination had a slight pulse. The dark pits she had for eyes still glimmered for she had no eyelids to close over them. The pen in her chest. The girl drove it deeper and deeper before her hand finally fell off. Casimir took the gun from her nightstand and shot Number Three in the chest.

Casimir felt around and tore the pen out of her body. Yet she didn’t feel relieved. She hurried into the bathroom to find something to plug the wound with, but she knew by the labor of her breath that the pen struck her lung and punctured it. 

“Hector,” she whimpered down the hall. Outside the watchtower collapsed. Their cars slide downslope into a rushing current. Water from the sewer backed up and exploded from the toilets and sinks. 

Casimir came to the lab door, but found it open. She cried for her husband, but didn’t even hear a scream. The stairs, the flickering lights, the plastic tarps stained with god knows what. The lab was wide open, a key hung in the key hole. She turned around to see a naked something-person on all fours, blech out in fear from the thing she thought to be a face, and then leap out the window. It had her hair and her husband’s eyes. 

Step by step she went down pacing her breathing. If anyone had the tools to save or her keys to the plane, it was Hector. She called for him again but received no response. As she made her way down the isle of tarps her fleet splashed in silty water. One cage door hung open, the ones not under water contained bodies of human-like creatures with holes and lead in their skulls. Brains and mouths, and brains inside of mouths, hung open, their eyes going in different directions, or their faces turned into a white mask drooping off of their skulls. 

Casimir called for Hector again. Each time she braced herself for a furious outburst. Maybe even a blow to the head that finally kills her. Instead she found the operation room door ajar. She pushed it open and gasped when she saw what had become of him. 

So much carnage that even his black hair turned red. So much meat on his face that it looked like someone dumped a bucket of worms on him. Snakes of red and white meat stuffed his throat. It looked like he tired to eat as much as he could but his body finally pushed it all back out but it just jammed in his mouth until he couldn’t close it anymore. His kidneys were missing from the cavity in his chest. Six ribs broken from the solar plexus. Gallbladder and bladder, gone. His large intestine floated in the flood. His legs rendered down to transparent globules of cartilage and tissue, red bones completely cleaned of meat and vessels. The steak of his buttocks and crotch was completely removed. She approached, holding her nose, too afraid to scream, but paralyzed in fear. As she stood above him, she saw his lungs inflate. His heart beat. His eyes remained wide open. 

Casimir whispered into his ear “I killed Number Three.”  She took a hook from the instrument table, and dug it into his ribs. She broke one off and started eating it. She lost her words in the fraughtful tears, eating and swallowing a mouthful of her husband’s meat before resuming her crying. She smiled a bit, and reached back in for more.  “Oh, my man. Poor Hector.” 

CRUNCH. GULP. SIZZLE


Saturday, July 1, 2023

Kazuo Umezz: Terror Slithers Into Our Lives

 

Kazuo Umezz: Terror Slithers Into Our Lives

 

A review of Orochi 4

by Graham Swanson




 

Orochi 4 is a manga book about two scary stories previously published as a comic strip around 1969 and 1970 written by Kazou Umezz. The first story, “Eyes” follows a blind girl who witnesses a murder in her own home. A game of cat and mouse begins between the girl and the murderer as he returns to the scene to retrieve an ID that he dropped inside the house. The second story, “Blood”, follows two sisters. One sister is given all the love and attention in the world, the other is barked at and hit by parents, teachers, and eventually her husband. Both stories are from the perspective of stranger. A girl who follows them yet is invisible to the people she watches.



The greatest strength of “Eyes” is it's suspense. Danger unfolds  around this girl and takes control of the safety of her home. The blind protagonist is alone, and tries to save herself but makes many mistakes. She is left by herself after her father is arrested. No one is around for her except the killer himself. The most startling images are how she baracades the windows and doors. She can't hammer a single nail in straight. They all curl around the wood from the force of the hammer. 


     “Blood” is rich in gothic convention, and by the end is truly rabid with terror. The walls are drawn with a deep dark black. The very halls feel haunted. There is sadness in the girl's faces. There is scorn in the faces of the adults. The sadness of the once innocent little girl transforms into hatred.



Each story doesn’t just alarm, it does not merely dare to put the book down, it also provides something to chew on. Each work is wrapped in a sensation of very real fear like an innocent father going to prison, abuse of the dying and sickly, buying children, abusing servants, abusing the disabled, and the impact of violence. The book seems to be asking as, “how could this happen?”

As the narrator says in the haunting last pages, “This will never happen again.”

Will it now? Really?

There are some interesting shocks, and subtle manipulations, but what stands out to Castle Swanson are the Gothic tropes throughout “Blood”.

The Monzen family becomes a fallen aristocracy.

 The two sisters Riza and Kasuzu are the last of a bloodline.

Orphans and peasants within the mansion live in fear.

The young orphan girl becomes a maiden in distress.

No one is safe from poundings and strikes of violence.

 Darkness lays in the eyes of characters, in the sky, in windows, and in deep hallways.

The once great family mansion becomes an old, shady palace.

Horror and terror occurs within.

The grotesque transformation of the innocent into monsters. 

The supernatural narrator creeps into people’s lives unnoticed… and uninvited.

There is a moment in “Eyes” that inspires dread. Tt grows from realistic expectations and very real fears, yet seems offbeat. The Blind Girl sends her best friend, a child, to stalk an adult murderer. The boy not only gets spotted by the killer, but the killer is friendly, and gets the kid to tell him all the information he needs to know. It’s uncomfortable to know that this  blind girl just sent a boy into the snares of a murderer. This villain shows that he is not some fool who got worked up in a moment of passion, but actually a clever, calculating professional.

The best part of “Eyes” is the constant danger. This girl is never safe. Even at home she risks burning the house down. If men come to the door, she has no idea who is entering and leaving. If she leaves the house, she doesn’t know where to find safety. If she tries to tell people what she saw, no one believes her because she is blind. She is defenseless, weak, and vulnerable to the very real evils of the world.

The best character, Risa, is welcomed in Castle Swanosn. She is a monster, but we get to see this monster as a child. She didn’t start off this sinister. We first see her off in the distance playing in the grass with her big sister. One small horror, destroying her drawings or her flowers, ripples into tragedy, and unfolds into deeper horrors like car wrecks before finally blossom of torture grow. She is an evil that is never defeated.

There’s a sublime moment when the narrator girl awakens after her long sleep. She saves a young Risa from a car crash, then gets sleepy. She rushes up a mountain and finds a cave to rest in. She dreamed she was in the body of the orphan. She experiences torture, the horror, and downfall of this ill fated family as she is held captive. The mansion she once believed was her dream came true mutates into her tomb. 

Bravery. In both these stories the fear becomes strength, and we see the characters become inspired to overcome the horror they face.

In "Eyes" it is  when the girl raises her cane to fight the killer. She strikes him in the eyes, leaving him blinded. On equal footing, he is now as powerless as she. Unlike her, he has not spend his entire life without his sight. He falls victim to the fears of the blind, and she is triumphant. 

In "Blood" the moment  comes when the narrator awakens from her sleep s after the orphan girl breaks her back falling down the stairs. Fearlessly the narrator rushes back into the mansion. She finds fresh blood on the floor where she last saw the orphan. A red trail leads to the big sister’s bedroom. There she finds the orphan paralysed besides the dying a dying woman surrounded by doctors.

Some parts of this book raise questions.

The police never seem interested in investigating, and in many cases throughout these two stories, they make conclusions based on a surface level inspection of a crime. For example, in "Eyes", the police arrest the blind girl’s father because he picked up the knife used to kill the victim. Other than his finger prints, there’s no reason to believe he killed this man, he was merely there when the police arrived. The killer’s prints would also be on the knife. Besides, no one saw her father on the bus that day? Or at the bar? Or at work? Why did he show up so late at night? What is the writer trying to tell us here?

Something similar happens in the climax of “Blood”. Risa has framed her sister of terrorizing the orphan girl and to “prove” it, she whips off her sister’s bed covers to reveal to the doctors and staff  a box of nails and a hammer, thus smearing the older sis's good name. But anyone with access to that room could’ve put those there. No one ever saw her big sister leave the room. Where did the nails come from? Who bought them? Who knew where to find them? Again, what is the writer trying to make us think about here?

Without the presence of the narrator, there's not much of anything spooky going on. The narrator is the only uncanny thing. Without her, it's a just a thriller. Horror needs the uncanny- the supernatural- to be a part of the genre. A man crawling through a window at night is scary, but the window lifting open by itself is the essence of horror. 

There is otherwise a lot to admire about this book. It delivers a fun slide into the horror genre, with an uncanny touch, without drowning the illustrations in gore and carnage. It doesn’t have disturbing images like people’s heads turning into centipedes like Junji Ito, but contains a treasure trove of very real nightmares. It’s like a story from the newspaper these comics were printed in, or gossip in the tabloids from the next shelf. It slithers into our lives just as the narrator slithered into the lives of the blind girl, and the Monzen Family.

   



 Kazuo Umezz is a celebrated manga artist and horror writer active since the 1960s. 

Monday, May 29, 2023

ARTIST INTERVIEW: CHIAKI MAYUMURA

 

Tokyo Idol Inspires Fans To Do Their Own Thing At Kansas City Naka-Kon

An Interview With Chiaki Mayumura

by Graham Swanson

 

 

Chiaki Mayumura enters stage



Chiaki Mayumura travelled over 6,000 miles, all the way from Tokyo, Japan, to bring Idol music to her American fans in the dusty plains and concrete towers of Kansas City, Missouri. She performed two shows at Naka-Kon over the weekend of May 26th and 27th. Her first show started late on Friday night. A silver suit sparkled over her shoulders as she stared into the shadows of the hall with a smile towards the stage lights. The audience looked up from the vapor when her voice rose to the microphone. On stage, glowing under red lamps, her laptop and guitars gleamed.

As the show went on, Chiaki took off her ruffled skirt, her shoes and socks, then called on the audience to follow her. She exited the stage and ran like the wind through the shadows. Youthful and mirthful men and women pursued her around the corners of the room. More and more people entered the chase. She led them back to the front of the stage and re-entered the spotlight.

After Chiaki’s performance, I was honored to have the opportunity to stand next to her during the midnight rave. She walked near the front of the stage and invented dance moves on the spot. She stepped into a dance circle, put her hands and feet on the floor, and pushed her hips into the air. Later in the night I noticed her playing Limbo with costumed revelers from the audience and members of her entourage. As the lights came on, I approached her.

Chiaki and I walked out of the room and talked a little bit. She started making music at age 20. She played at Kansas City once before and had a virtual concert during the Covid Pandemic. We stopped walking in front of the heavy glass doors that lead back to the hotel. She tells me how the film Bohemian Rhapsody inspired her to write “Queeeeeeeeeen!” from her album Meja-Meja-Manja. She introduces her kind entourage to me, and then I ask if she’d be interested in an interview. After making some phone calls and taking my Instagram, she happily agrees.

The second performance came Saturday night at 22:30. Chiaki performed a different set of songs. She included “Queeeeeeeeeen!” and others that exhibited a fiercer, more passionate Chiaki than the night before. Near the end of the show, she rode on the back of a giant turtle held up by members of the audience. They carried her around the dancehall, and she showered them in waves of elation. Early that Saturday she performed with her acoustic guitar in the corridor between the convention hall and hotel. Right after her last show she met fans and signed merchandise for them. I worried that she might feel exhausted after such a busy day, but she eagerly came over and sat with me, with a genuine smile and bright eyes. A translator sat with us, and she responded in English for Chiaki.

We began the interview.

Chiaki Mayumura meets fans after a show


TRANSCRIPT

Graham: Chiaki, I noticed, the songs, you changed them from last night.  But you were still free spirited and energetic. Were you always this way?

Translator: She changes them every single performance.

Graham: Why?

Translator: She gets bored easily and wants to change them.

Graham: Me too. I can’t stick to a routine to save my life. Have you always been that way?

Translator: Yeah, she has been that way for a long time, and she doesn’t want to write very similar songs so she wants to create completely different songs.

Graham: Can you tell me something about the Japanese music scene?

Translator: Live music scene in Japan is very on Tic Tok side, or TV show side, and not necessarily the people who do the live performances, being popular and selling lots of music, and she gets frustrated by that. It’s more commercialized. Social media.

Graham: I was going to ask you about that later. Thank you for answering that. What is your greatest fear?

Translator: That’s a great question. Her greatest fear is losing her fans. She doesn’t like horror movies, but when she watches it, you know the tissue papers, they are double layered, she would peel one off so she could see through. She’s watching but not at the same time, she’s like filtering by having this one layered tissue paper. She’s interested, she wants to watch it, she just gets too scared.

Graham: Don’t be afraid of the beauty of demons.

Translator: She watched a horror movie on the flight to the United States, and then she was scared of the passenger right next to her.

Graham: Why would you lose your fans?

Translator: For example, social media, or any platform, if she says anything political or anything that isn’t related to Japanese society or society in general, she feels she is going to lose fans and they are not going to be able to listen to her songs and pieces of herself in the same way as before.

Graham: I’m really glad you said that, because I was doing some research on Idol Pop musicians, and I’m not going to lie there are disturbing things, I have some specific examples here, I’ve been reading about things like mistreatment, things like suicide, things like No Dating clauses in contracts, assault, slave labor contracts, sexualization of minors. If this makes you uncomfortable, I understand, have you experienced any of that?

Translator: She has never really experienced anything extreme like to the point where she wanted to hurt herself, but she has seen a lot of her friend who were very pressured, like really a lot of contracts regarding their work, those kinds of friends, their producers have the most power, every single power over them. So they can’t make music, they can’t sing, they can’t express themselves like they want to since they are fearful of the producers who have the power over everything. So whenever her friends come up to her and say “what should I do” then what she would say usually is “try to be yourself. Try not to be fearful of expressing yourself”. For her case, she really doesn’t have a producer who has more power over her, she produces everything, she makes her music, so she directs her own shows, she does every single thing, so that’s why she’s never really experienced something like that, but a lot of people in the industry experience that kind of thing because of the producers having power over them.

Graham: That is extremely interesting. I’d like to hear how you have overcome that. How do you manage without a producer? What’s it like to do things by yourself?

Translator: Japanese pop culture and society, they don’t really have a singer- performer like her. She is almost unheard of, her style is so unique, she kept doing her own thing, and kept writing and performing and she didn’t really have to rely on any companies, any producers, so she just kept doing her own thing and she was fine, so she thinks she’s very lucky. Rather than relying on somebody like auditioning for a talent agency for example, a record company and stuff, its better to keep producing yourself rather than trying to rely on someone else’s power, and then the consequences of you being yourself, and you trying to do everything, that consequence will follow up, will cause lots of fans and supporters. So she just makes her own path, and then someone follows all the time.

Graham: It follows, eh? That ties into so many delightful things I wanted to ask you. How did you come up with this style?

Translator: She used to be in Idol group, three of them, Chiaki and two other girls, and as she kept performing as a group, she started feeling like everybody was so similar, all the other groups and other songs are very similar, so she started to feel like “I want to do my own thing, I want to create my own thing, that’s not at all similar to anything that exists” and that kind of led her to establish her own style of music.

Graham: That’s very interesting. What would you say separates you from the rest of the Idols?

Translator: What makes her different from other groups? Other people? Number one is that she writes her own music, and number two is having a computer and a guitar by her side and perform by herself. That style is not very popular in Japan. And the courage and bravery of doing that all by herself. That makes her different.

Graham: Bravery and what else?

Translator and Chiaki: Courage.

Graham: Good words. I can tell you have a lot of passion out there. I can see it. It’s very physical.

Translator: She started recently started seeing a lot idol groups where for example there was a group of five but one of the five is a producer so as a group they are self producing. She started seeing a lot of them coming up and she believes that style of producing will produce less of the slavery, the contract work, like where the producer has all the power over them. We will make the industry better. A better place to work for artists.

Graham: What else can I say, you’re really a source of positivity in all of this.

Chiaki: Positive?

Graham: I think so. How do your fans react when they see this bravery and courage emerge from you?

Translator: She says male fans start dancing with her, but female fans cry. They get really inspired. But she doesn’t know why they’re crying from the stage. She always asks “why are you crying?”

Graham: Do you ever cry at the movies?

Translator: She cries at parts where the audience doesn’t even cry, she still cries.

Graham: Ok, like what?

Translator: Things like a family having a good time, or not even a middle of the movie, the beginning of the movie she’s already crying. Anything dog related.

Graham: You’re very in touch with your sensitivity, aren’t you?

Translator: she gets more emotional when she sees animals having a hard time or like being hurt. For example, in Samurai era, the Samurais would fight with their swords on top, while they’re riding horses, not even just swords, but guns too, so whenever she sees any scenes where like (Imitates gunfire) and the horses is like (imitates dying horse) she’s like “Nooo! Not the horses!”

Graham: Spare the horses. You’re not alone.

Translator: Not the humans. Rather humans be, and let the horses go.

Graham: What did they do, they’re animals, they don’t know. Alrighty, thank you so much for this. I think I have all my questions. Uhmm, I probably won’t put this in the interview or anything, again I wanted to thank you, I was wondering what you had planned for the rest of the night?

Translator: She’s going to drink beer. That’s her plan. She usually doesn’t drink 24 hours prior to a performance because her voice, her throat, but tonight she’s going to drink to death.

Graham: Awesome. I have some alcohol in my hotel room if I could join you.

Translator: She wants to play uno the card game, and also teach her American friends the drinking games in Japan.

Graham: What are these games? – (audio cuts out)

Sai, Chiaki's latest album





You can find more of Chiaki Mayumura's music on spotify. 

https://open.spotify.com/artist/4DjusI9WuKLk3cmsJGtl8T

You can find her latest music video here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIG4pFtsIEs&ab_channel=Channel%E7%9C%89%E6%9D%91%E3%81%A1%E3%81%82%E3%81%8D

Tuesday, January 31, 2023

Poetry That Otherwise Will Never Be Heard (for better or worse)





to Sh

THE FATAL HOUR

by Graham Swanson

 

I found you in the rivers at the bottom of your heart

A screw driver in your windpipe

I'll grab you by the roots of your hair and make you eat garbage

I walk in the daylight. Where else could you see me?

I walk in the middle of the day. Where else could you find me?

I know where you pray

I'll let the air out of your tires and hit you with a bike lock

I know where you sleep

I'll let everyman out of prison

I know what you love

I'll open every grave and swallow your children

I can see from here that you're all haunted

Some good. Some bad. 

When I sleep I see dead bodies

They are my dearest friends


I AM THE CRIMSON DRAGON THAT PULLS THE PALE MOON'S SILVER WAGON

Crossed by double silver handled twin daggers

Alone on my pedestal 

at the center of the world!


Drink the blood from my golden chalice

All your wishes will come true. 








THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CLOWNS AND JESTERS

by Graham Swanson


A Clown performs in the street

in the dirt

That's why he is dressed the way he is

To distract from the fact that he lives in the filth of Parisian streets.

A Jester, to the contrary, 

performs in the King's Court.

He is respected, noble. He knows the room

better than anyone. He knows

the secrets. He holds political power.

He whispers into the King's ear, and makes him laugh. No one

fucks with a jester. Because he will

Unviel them in front of the entire court.

In song. 

A Jester can SEND MEN to the dungeon.

A Clown watches the mirth of a castle from the cold alley ways.

When  YOU are alone in a dungeon-

when you're awoken by a rat gnawing

on your ankle bone

And all you had to eat is moldy bread,

it'll be the face-the mask- of a Jester smiling back at you.

The Clown, sad and lonely, plays sticks in the alley. He spins bottles, honks a horn.

The Jester sharpens a knife on his tie-

Shatters windshields with the sharp end of his cane.

A Clown stumbles into the frozen mud to chase a lost balloon

A Jester will laugh in your face because you will never know who he is.

A Clown slips and falls in horse shit.

A Jester will always be in the dungeon. Watching and laughing, making googly eyes, and inventing new ways to torment his prisoners.

A Clown sleeps in the cold, takes his wig off, his gloves off, and make up off.






I CAN'T FIND HAPPINESS

by Graham Swanson


It's okay to have feelings that *you* don't like

When I see a smile its a mask- I feel your sneer

those trees are prison bars

the sun shines with hate

and burns the supple flesh

Under that mask I see the scorchmarks of the sun

I see freckles, rashes, and cancer.

From wild Green hills to my hometown- it's a bus 

ride full of desperate fugitives escaping the ever 

widening void 

                    Ever hungrier- moving at the speed of

                    Light

They smile at me but think I am strange, crazy,

a serial killer- why- just ask them why? They shudder.

    I walk the streets alone in search of those neon

monsters of mirth and I drink believing merrymakers 

find happiness in the gas 

Only to discover adulterers, men who punch glass, and drug dealers. 

    I search the mist and alleyways for love. All I 

find are games of Russian Roullette

    Meth addicted, beautiful women- kiss me, then I drop them off at dark apartments or RVs

once the sun goes down

They are the Valentine's Day Muggers- we share

one similarity, that we'd rather find elusive death

yet something drags us forward into the dark-

with no hearts, we share a strange hour

Neither one is alone- yet crushed by the 

Moon, and joined by the chants of

10,000 screaming banshees

A heart beating in a drawer

Lungs wheezing in a glass

Smoke burning at midnight

swollen knuckles, fist warmed inside 

pockets.

    I am the man alone walking from alley to alley.

I cannot find happiness in this 

world.

    To me, its only a moment on TV

when they're trying to sell you shit

you don't need.

Or a moment when you get too drunk to remember

that you have work in the morning.

I walk between monsters and rows of dead stalks

I sleep in abandoned houses, 

and burn books to stay warm.



Monday, December 19, 2022

Stella's Graduation

                                         Stella's Graduation


Graham Swanson

Written in 2020


On the night of Stella’s graduation she rented a room in the big fancy hotel to spend a night with her boyfriend before they moved away to the bright hanging cities over the river. She went there alone with a basket of perfumes and a change of outfits, checking her phone in anticipation of her lover arriving. He texted her in the morning, so she left him another message reminding him and tempting him to come to the hotel that night. She provided a template of her figure in an accompanying photo taken by the bench among the trees. He didn’t text back right away.

From outside she looked to the top of the hotel, saw the clouds swirling across the stars and the moonlight, and the spires over the highest windows. Lights filled the rooms above except for two windows. Against the sharpest edges of the roof, a hooded figure loomed down from between two broken chimneys. Even as Stella saw the glimmer of its eyes met with hers, it did not retreat, but offered a gentle wave. The cold blew freezing gusts of frozen mist into the streets and against Stella’s bare legs. 

Stella figured her boyfriend might be stuck at work or at practice, so she went inside to avoid the cold. She couldn’t wait and looked again at her phone on the elevator. The message was sent. The doors blew open and she hurried to hide her phone as she pulled luggage onto the orange carpet. The maid pushed a cart into the hall with her mouth unsmiling mouth hanging open, her spinal cord twisted into a large knot at the base of her neck, and missing teeth that she tried to hide from the young pretty girl swinging her hips down the hall. She went into the red door by herself. The maid lifted her head into the light, her yellow eyes dull and sunken, her balding head losing strands of hair, and when she thought the young girl was gone into her room, the maid went into the cleaning closet and lifted the back of the cabinet. 

A short opening fell open, too short to stand up in, but just snug for the hunchback. It led her down narrow gaps in the walls to small lenses which revealed the interior of each room. She went to the room the young girl just checked in, and she watched her undress, put on silky underwear, and checked her makeup. She constantly looked at her phone, each time with heavier disappointment. An hour passed, so she sent a long grueling voicemail pebbled with angry insults and threats. 

Stella paced around and looked out the window down at the empty parking lot. A few lonely cars sat still. A group of vandals lurked from the darkness of the park and smashed a car window, smashed the tail lights, and smashed the windshield. They left a note on the steering wheel and lit a fire in the back seat. The hooded figure watched from the bench, but did not notice the vandals, but instead kept searching for something in the windows. She closed the blinds as the vandals scampered back off into the dark in the direction of the old factory. 

The maid scratched the fine hairs on her chin. Never had she seen a young girl so upset and it 

made her feel depressed, but also less lonely. Just then a knock came at the door, the girl gasped and dropped her phone to the floor. 


In the bygone times of broken wheels and violent street whipping there loomed a huge smoking factory under where the viaduct is today. Thirty buildings all boarded up and stacked full of belts sculpted from the scales of endangered animals crossed the middle of the village. This place used to be busy and flowed train carts of soup and pudding to cities all over the country. families built mansions around the outskirts of the factory and one thousand other people got jobs working there. It did not last, as the village elders agreed in a secret meeting to sell the factory to a shadow who came at sunset and left at sunrise. 

No one knew of the secret meeting or the plans the elders made. They took the money, stored it in a castle of a bank, returning only to rob the bank and go back to their golf courses on the sweltering coast of alligators and tree snakes as the village fell to squalor and ignorance.

The once glorious mansions remained devoted castles to the families, but not the kind that brings up children to do great things. They became hoarded with garbage, packed full of strange folk, doors always locked and curtains always drawn to keep the fumes from escaping. The sons and daughters of the elders live in these places to this day, all D students who live in the lap of never ending gold, and each one in the pocket of drug gangs from other states. They live alone for the reason of cooking strange potions with gems, propane and chemicals, selling the refined experiments to the enforcers, and selling the bottom of the barrel to the peasants across town. 

The old factory itself became a gruesome outlet for gas squeezed from the cracks of the earth, and for strange creatures who followed the escaping rats up onto the factory floor. These things did not look like you or I. They had the form of a human, but they did not evolve from the apes that climbed down from trees and walked everywhere to hunt their food like us. They evolved from poisonous frogs that lived in pools underground. They can't turn their heads because they have no neck, their eyes are yellow, and they eat molten coals and bathe in hot paint. 

No one came near the factory. Those few crackheads who sought shelter from winter found themselves dragged through grain chutes, then clamped by the head in the clasp of bow hooks, and carried into the air as the rail delivered them to the otherside of the factory. They hung like angels going to heaven, blood gushing from their temples and mouths and soaking their shoulders and feet. Rats followed the trail of blood droplets. The frogmen tore the clothes apart and devoured them for the mites living inside.



Fun Fears, Being Watched